Yesterday I saw a guy at the mall with a fanny pack. This guy was a typical suburban guy, nothing otherwise notable about him. However, yesterday he decided that he needed to wear a fanny pack. Now, most guys are minimalists. We try to offload anything bulky including loose change, checkbooks, relationships, etc.
This guy must have felt like he needed to carry some bulky items with him - those that would not fit into his pocket. Hmm, what could that be? Lets think of the potential items; lipbalm, bobblehead of Weird Al, passport, play-doh, extra shoe-laces, 18-pack of wrigley's? Could you imagine needing anything that wouldn't fit in your pockets and would require a fanny pack?
The only time a fanny pack is remotely appropriate is when travelling abroad and that is even questionable. They are just hideous. A bad idea with a bad name. If you have stuff that won't fit in your pockets and you need to have your hands free then grab a backpack.
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You forgot gerbils. Ever wonder why most guys wear fanny packs in the front, on top of their crotch, and not on their fanny? Because they're gay. That would have been a perfect line from the scene in Knocked Up, "You know how I know you're gay? Cause you wear a fanny pack."
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