Talking in Metaphors

"People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch."

I was speaking with someone today. He is in the process of hiring a sales person. He actually said that he was "looking for someone who could capture the essence of senior management."

I guess this is pretty much what everyone is looking for but what the fuck. It sounded so manufactured. How about, "we are looking for someone who can sell tons of shit while not screwing up our strategy."

We've all worked with corporate types who live meeting to meeting. They walk around with their silly little portfolio and take notes during the most boring meetings possible. Each participant at the meeting forcing themselves to say something just to be heard. "Hey, Bob, why don't we cross-market with the industrials team and own the positioning on plastics as good for the planet? We'll utilize our organic resources to deliver a world-class cock ring."