Ok, I may take some hits on this topic but I have to take a stand.
I understand that people of all ages participate in Fantasy Football. It is incredibly popular and has changed the way that millions of fans watch professional football.
I just attended a fairly nice dinner meeting with a group of intelligent professionals. Someone at my table actually said (to more than two people), "I drafted Felix Jones in the 8th round and since my regular back's team has a bye week and with the injury to Marion Barber, Felix will be carrying the load this week against a weak defense in Carolina."
While your girlfriend is texting another guy, or your kids are having dinner with their Mom (your wife) you are on espn.com or trying to figure out some jackass did against some other team that you don't even give a shit about.
On espn radio I heard about www.footbalinjuries.com. Are you fucking serious. If you use this website, get to fucking work. You are part of the reason why America is losing ground globally.
I get that you like Fantasy Football but you don't get that not everyone else likes it, follows it or even gives a shit.
I can't tell you to stop playing but the best advice I have is to keep your chatter to others living in your fantasyland.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Men are Crazy Too
I got to thinking, how does crazy manifest itself in men? The answer is, it depends on socio-economic factors. Here are the reactions to some unfortunate life-occurrences for both blue-collar and white-collar people.
Dog shits in house
blue - kick dog
white - send dog back to breeder
Aggressive driving
blue - street fight
white - middle finger
Loss of job
blue - two week bender around a stock car race
white - trip to vegas
Wife cheats
blue - shoot guy drilling wife
white - fuck co-worker
I personally think that blue-collar guys despise white-collar guys but white-collar guys really like and appreciate blue-collar guys. However, it doesn't really matter because they very rarely mix socially.
Dog shits in house
blue - kick dog
white - send dog back to breeder
Aggressive driving
blue - street fight
white - middle finger
Loss of job
blue - two week bender around a stock car race
white - trip to vegas
Wife cheats
blue - shoot guy drilling wife
white - fuck co-worker
I personally think that blue-collar guys despise white-collar guys but white-collar guys really like and appreciate blue-collar guys. However, it doesn't really matter because they very rarely mix socially.
Blue Collar vs. White Collar - Crazy Women
I stated in a recent post that all women were crazy. I honestly believe this. However, I believe there are several levels of this craziness. Normal chicks are a 1 to 4 on the crazy scale but we all know a few who are at 10 on that scale.
To find out if your girlfriend/wife is blue collar or white collar crazy, ask yourself what she would do if she found you screwing another woman in your bed.
A. Pick up 5 gal can of gas, pour it around your vehicle (pick-up) and light it on fire.
B. Drive immediately to mall, spend $7,000 on clothes and shoes.
Obvious.
To find out if your girlfriend/wife is blue collar or white collar crazy, ask yourself what she would do if she found you screwing another woman in your bed.
A. Pick up 5 gal can of gas, pour it around your vehicle (pick-up) and light it on fire.
B. Drive immediately to mall, spend $7,000 on clothes and shoes.
Obvious.
Dudes on Planes
Lots of material here, for sure.
I'll start with the jackass in first class who got a once-in-a-lifetime upgrade for no good reason. He makes eye contact with every person who boards the plane to ensure that EVERYONE realizes that he is in the first class cabin.
Reclining seat-guy - even on the short flights - the ones where you can recline for only 15-20 minutes he takes the opportunity to jam his seat back into your lap. Funny thing is that you don't really get more space when you recline.
4-foot-bag-in-overhead-guy - no matter what happens, this guy is going to shove his absurdly large carry-on into the overhead compartment. He usually gets on last and will fuck up any other shit in the compartment. This guy usually looks around at some point and feels like everyone else is at fault.
"freak-went" flyer loser guy - desperate that everyone knows how many segments he flies each week. Loves to tell meaningless stories that include him traveling to what he thinks are exotic locations. Thinks he knows all the flight lingo and tries to pal around with the crew who only wish they can throw him out the emergency hatch without a parachute.
fat-ass-take-too-much-room-guy - obvious and a too-easy target
armrest-owner-guy - feel like the shared armrest between you and him was made expressly for him. Will go to great lengths to keep ownership of this shared territory.
The winner of the most annoying Dude on the Plane is the freak who thinks his endless string of silly-ass trips to unimportant destinations makes him a sophisticated, world traveler. He is the frequent flyer tool who wants everyone to know how much he is on airplanes. You know it if this is you!
I'll start with the jackass in first class who got a once-in-a-lifetime upgrade for no good reason. He makes eye contact with every person who boards the plane to ensure that EVERYONE realizes that he is in the first class cabin.
Reclining seat-guy - even on the short flights - the ones where you can recline for only 15-20 minutes he takes the opportunity to jam his seat back into your lap. Funny thing is that you don't really get more space when you recline.
4-foot-bag-in-overhead-guy - no matter what happens, this guy is going to shove his absurdly large carry-on into the overhead compartment. He usually gets on last and will fuck up any other shit in the compartment. This guy usually looks around at some point and feels like everyone else is at fault.
"freak-went" flyer loser guy - desperate that everyone knows how many segments he flies each week. Loves to tell meaningless stories that include him traveling to what he thinks are exotic locations. Thinks he knows all the flight lingo and tries to pal around with the crew who only wish they can throw him out the emergency hatch without a parachute.
fat-ass-take-too-much-room-guy - obvious and a too-easy target
armrest-owner-guy - feel like the shared armrest between you and him was made expressly for him. Will go to great lengths to keep ownership of this shared territory.
The winner of the most annoying Dude on the Plane is the freak who thinks his endless string of silly-ass trips to unimportant destinations makes him a sophisticated, world traveler. He is the frequent flyer tool who wants everyone to know how much he is on airplanes. You know it if this is you!
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