This may not be new anymore but who is sick of the people in the Starbucks line ahead of you? It seems that the more adjectives you use to order your morning coffee determine how hip you are. For example, the little weasel with the messenger bag, "ah, grande, vanilla, skim, cappucino" or the recent college grad hottie, "venti, no whip, extra hot, half caf, skim, mocha latte."
This is starting to really bug me. What happened to, "medium black coffe?" I order this regularly and I'm treated like its my first time to ever have coffee cross my lips. Fellow customers look down at me and the barrista acknowledges that he is too good to make my basic request by turning down his nose and having the cashier pour my coffee.
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I swear to God in heaven that I am not making this up, but I went into a Starbuck's once at 8:30 in the morning and they were out of coffee. How does that happen, you ask? Well, dear reader, I'll tell you how it happens. It happens because the fucking monkey's run the zoo and have been for several years now. I think this country has been on "mental auto pilot" since we landed on the moon. It's as if we just decided, "fuck, we are so smart as a nation, we are just going to spend and borrow, spend and borrow, refi every once in a while, and in between, we're all going to provide each other "services" such as analysis of how our service can help you with whatever it is you do." By the way, what does Starbucks call a barista manager? The primates would name him silver back and if he ever fucked up so badly as to not have coffee ready at 8:30 in the morning, when all you sell is coffee, he would probably have been eaten alive or atleast ex-communicated from the tribe. As you can tell, caffeine deprivation, makes one a touch bitchy.
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