Answer 'yes' to any of these questions to figure out if you are a tool.
-Do you tell your buddies that you got a promotion at work?
-Do you really think your under-8-year-old is going to be a professional athlete?
-Do you watch Monday Night Football wearing an authentic jersey?
-Do you go out at night expecting to get into a fight?
-Have you told anyone your interest rate on your mortgage?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I have a few suggestions for other tool filtering questions:
ReplyDeleteWhen you read the caption "are you a tool" did you immediately ask yourself, "define tool"? If so, you are definitely a tool and probably an attorney. Not that all attorneys are tools, just the litigators.
Do you wear a gold chain?
Congratulations, you've identified yourself as King of the Tools.
Do you have a mustache?
Unless your name is Tom Selleck, we've got some bad news.
Are the wheels on your car different than those that came from the factory? Do they look like they belong on Jay-Z's Bentley?
If you answered yes, the folks from Snap-On called and they want you and your ride to be in next months calendar.
Were you offended during any of the following movies: Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin, Supabad, Wedding Crashers, Reservoir Dogs, True Romance or Pulp Fiction?
If so, you are definitely a tool and probably not a heterosexual.
Are you racking up too many "yes" answers. No worries. The comedy, tragedy and irony of most tools is the fact that they are blissfully unaware of their toolish nature. Most are content in the knowledge that it's better to be a hammer than a nail.
Have you ever announced "There's a New Sheriff in Town", referring to yourself in a business meeting? Some tool I work with actually said that today.
ReplyDeleteI bet the "New Sheriff" secretly wants to be the cowboy in The Village People.
ReplyDelete